Relationships

13 Ways to Be a Better Co-Worker

Having good relationships with our colleagues at work is crucial to our wellbeing. Here are 13 simple tips that can help you be a better co-worker.

Dealing with Critical People

Critical people make rude comments, judge our decisions, talk at length about what we’re doing wrong or rarely have anything nice to say. One way to deal with them is to stop being with them altogether.

But this isn’t easy to do when the critical person is your boss, colleague, family member or your partner’s father. In other words, you can’t just stop seeing them for the rest of your life. And in some cases you might have to interact with them on a daily basis.

SCARF Questionnaire

The SCARF® Model assesses the differences in people’s social motivation. Some people are more sensitive to status-threat and rewards, others to certainty and relatedness. Having SCARF needs satisfied drives engagement and retention.  This is a link to the NLI SCARF assessment.

Hay Managerial Style Workbook

This workbook gives managers a chance to understand their own managerial style, reflect on whether it suits the situations they face, and make appropriate changes.  It’s not a full psychometrics but it’s a great place to start.

Partial Attention

A wealth of resources on continuous partial attention and its impact on our physical and psychological wellbeing.

Karpman Drama Triangle

Resources and articles on Steve Karpman’s concept of drama triangles.

Feeling Statements – Saying What You Really Mean

A website about the use of statements which include emotions and personal needs. Brief article, which seems quite helpful.

Attachment Styles and Relationships

A reasonably light article written by a clinical psychologist about attachment styles in adulthood, and how they impact upon relationships. It’s mainly aimed at personal, particularly intimate relationships, but is nonetheless easy to read and quite relevant to this tip potentially.

Your Brain at Work and the SCARF model

A link to an article by Rock about the SCARF model, and how these various needs can go unmet or be met in the workplace.

A Secure Base – Understanding Attachment

Web page from the University of East Anglia about attachment. A good brief introduction to the theory.

Understanding Your Attachment Style

Information about infant and adult attachment styles.

Attachment and Relationships

An introduction to attachment theory and how it affects personal relationships with others.